You're so nebulous sometimes
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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