Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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