K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
