your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
