I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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