I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
