Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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