The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
