I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
