I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Are we still banned from the library?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
