it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
