omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
