Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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