BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Randomize