So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
