bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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