I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize