no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
