WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When did angry sex become our thing?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
MIDGETS
????
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
