Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
