I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
