actually, I'm a sock model
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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