from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
