I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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