it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
