You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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