Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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