Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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