I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
