i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm like, not good at living.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
