You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We are two peas in an std pod
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
