I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Randomize
