I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
