I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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