They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
