Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
