when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
