you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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