what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I am naked and annoyed.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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