Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
