his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
