ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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