The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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