thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
