Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
