how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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