he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
