It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
