ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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