bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
