Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
