so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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