When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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