Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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