i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
