so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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