Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
