my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
