I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
