Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
