Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
