nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
