3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
